Search Results

Have you heard of Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response before? No, me neither. First let’s shorten it to ASMR. Evidently it’s the pleasurable feeling that starts on your scalp and then sends tingles down your neck and spine as you respond to a sound that stimulates you. Quite often it’s a voice or it could be a sound such as scrunching up paper. I’ve now discovered that the internet is awash with videos of people whispering or speaking in a way that some people find stimulating and engaging. I suppose we have all sat in church listening to a preacher whose voice and style of delivery have us entranced, supplying a warm glow that we can physically experience. Sadly other preachers will have the opposite effect. Having read about the phenomena in my weekend paper I could recall a French teacher at school whose voice and style of delivery held me rapt. Others left me cold. ASMR is in the news as some new academic research has suggested, I think, that if we can harness the type of sound that has this effect on us, it can aid relaxation, reduce stress levels and in some cases help us sleep better. I listened to a You tube clip of a woman whispering – viewed millions of times I think – and I could feel the start of that familiar feeling. People who know me well will be relieved to know that the whispering was at an audible level. So far, so good, and a bit obvious I suppose. But the safeguarder in me is reminded that for some a particular sound or voice may trigger memories that are more likely to cause a shudder rather than a pleasant tingle. The trauma of lived experience of abuse may be recalled without warning and this is something we do well to remember in our church life. One person’s key to relaxation my be another’s doorway to feeling unsafe. As I write this on St Pancras station the man playing the nearby piano only seems to know one chord which he has now played (badly) for two or three minutes. Its definitely not having the desired effect.

This is a story set in two cities – one that is, and one that is to be. I had intended this week’s piece to be a mildly humorous account of a chance meeting last week with my local MP in Kirkwall, which is the chief town of the Orkney Islands. Through a series of unlikely co-incidences, I met Sir Ed Davey, leader of the Lib Dems, in a car park close to St Magnus’ Cathedral, which in turn gives Kirkwall its city status. He was in Scotland to view a green energy scheme, a topic close to his heart. I noticed Sir Ed approaching a car and attracted his attention by calling out his name. On his own, save for a couple of colleagues, he turned and after a moment’s hesitation broke into a smile of greeting and recognition . We have had previous encounters in a different time and place. We shook hands, and had a brief, amiable conversation before he was whisked away to his appointment. Contrast this encounter with the tragic events at Belfairs Methodist Church in Leigh on Sea last Friday. Another MP going about his business of meeting, greeting and aiming to help his constituents. We don’t know the precise sequence of events that led to his murder, but some media reports suggest that the alleged assailant was waiting for Sir David Amess in the church. The safe space that we aim to promote and maintain in all our churches was violated. For MPs the debate will now move to improved security and reviewing walk-in surgery arrangements, whilst the country reflects on this further assault on our democracy. Sir David’s family are of course deeply upset and traumatised, and their grief will be raw for some time to come. Sadly, the creation of the new city of Southend on Sea will always be associated with tragedy. Belfairs will be the place that local people recall as a place of sadness, but also, pray, in some ways a new beginning. As a result of this event, church members in Leigh on Sea will also have been seriously emotionally impacted, and probably will be for some time to come. Ongoing pastoral care and support will be essential. Furthermore we should also be aware of the vulnerability of our own ministers when they meet people they do not know well, perhaps privately, and take steps to seek assurance that they, too, will be kept safe.

Building and maintaining trust is a key component of good safeguarding practice. People who attend our churches trust their leaders to ensure their safety when they come, that those who need to be trained are, and that those leaders themselves are only in their roles after a thorough recruitment process. This is part of a set of expectations described in the safeguarding policy posters published last year, highlighting how things should be. Hopefully these are prominently displayed in your church. This week it’s the Metropolitan Police’s turn to come under the spotlight following the sentencing of Wayne Couzens. Even the Commissioner, Dame Cressida Dick, has admitted that the public has lost a degree of trust in the police and she is now aiming to take steps to address this. It feels like a long road, considering the number of well publicised current and past cases where trust has been eroded, leaving some groups or communities feeling quite alienated. One of the key things for the Met to address is a culture where, it would appear, a small number officers are able to denigrate women and minority groups without robust challenge. We hear a lot about rotten apples, and sadly many organisations, including the Church, will have their own examples where the behaviour of a minority causes the majority to lose trust or, in some cases, start to feel unsafe. Especially in places or circumstances where they would expect to feel the exact opposite. Following policy and practice requirements, asking the right questions about how matters are arranged and challenging behaviour that does not seem right and is inconsistent with our beliefs and values is critically important. This is not about being awkward or argumentative, or even ‘woke’, but simply about enabling the development of an open and transparent church community built on mutual respect and trust.

I dropped by our local community festival at the weekend. Cancelled last year, it was revived this year with craft, food and local community organisations’ stalls spread across three sites, and featured a parade, mainly comprised of scouts and guides, brownies and beavers, walking behind the British Legion marching band, that blocked the main shopping street. This year the parade also featured a group of freemasons in their ceremonial aprons, a group of bikers on huge Triumph motorcycles, three Morris women rather forlornly waving their handkerchiefs, and a large army truck with attendant soldiers toting machine guns. I found it an eclectic mix. I’m afraid I decamped quite quickly to the street food quarter and enjoyed an Indonesian meal of barbecued crispy chicken skewers, egg-fried rice, curry saucy and pineapple salad. It was scrummy but weighed a bit heavy as I set off uphill to walk home. Why am I telling you all this? Well because I met, by chance, a former colleague who used to work for our Connexional safeguarding team who is now the Director of the local foodbank which hosts six distribution sites across our borough. With his team he was running a stall, so after asking me if I’d like to guess the number of baked beans in a large glass jar, we got to talking about universal credit, and the growing need in our community which belies it’s more affluent image. Amongst all the fun, food and festivity of the day it was easy to forget how some families and individuals are suffering, having to make hard choices and suddenly, it probably seems, soon having to pay more for their energy. One consequence will likely be that more children may be neglected and some adults will neglect themselves. This is the season for Harvest Festivals, and increasingly churches are being asked if they can supply particular items for beneficiaries of food banks, which has in some cases signalled the end of the overflowing, colourful and aromatic displays of home grown produce that I recall from my childhood and younger adult years. Our churches are now generally good at collecting tinned and dry food, cleaning products and personal care items, but we will probably not meet those who are then offered them. So they can still remain hidden to a large extent. Our challenge is to make sure that we stay alert to the needs of those, especially in our local church communities, who may not be taking good care. They should not remain hidden from our view.

As I write, I’m taking another baby step on the way back to normality. I’m on a train to Nottingham to check out a possible venue for our next annual Safeguarding Conference due to take place in March next year. Since March 2020 all longer distance trips have been made by car and so I am re-capturing the benefits of train travel by catching up with some work, and to write this blog. Thus far it’s all seemed pretty familiar. In addition to poking around the venue to look at room size, layout and the general facilities that may make it an attractive, and hopefully, competitively priced location, I will have to explain to my host about the particular characteristics of a safeguarding conference and the need for it to feel like a safe space. Our topics can be quite challenging and may be upsetting, and we can’t always know how many delegates may have lived experience, whose memories may be triggered in some way. This time we are only going to be on site for just over 24 hours, but previous events have been spread over almost three days and we found it helpful to have a dedicated space for worship, personal reflection and sanctuary. A large break-out space that our chaplain could fit out as a 24 hour safe space with all the attendant sensory artefacts that encourage stillness, calm and a sense of safety. Having been the conference coordinator for 7 years I have had a specification conversation with several venues, and to a lesser or greater degree always explained about our context. It’s always interesting to read the reactions of the person showing me around when I launch into this spiel, and when I add in our communion requirement that just adds to it. In fairness most get the agenda straightaway and there have been some great examples of how the people looking after us at the conference go out of their way to recognise and respect our requirements. If you have made use of the ‘Reflect and Respond’ study guide the Church published in January this year, you will already know about the importance of creating safe space and that this is not simply about ensuring building security or good internal design. It’s equally about the atmosphere that is created, knowing who will be around and how they might conduct themselves. Is there a quiet private space with people around who can hear and listen? So when I meet my host this afternoon, not only will I want to look at the physical space, but I’ll also ask about other groups who might be on site, whether any space can be exclusively dedicated, and how sensitive staff can be to the strength of feeling that can sometimes be generated by our subject matter. My experience suggests that I am sure all will be well. I’ll do the same next Monday at our other short-listed venue. I’ll not be so green though. I have to drive instead.

Happily the return to London SE25 went well on Saturday with an astonishing 3-0 win over the then Premier League leaders. It was also a dream start for a new striker who scored two goals in eight minutes on his debut. But most of the press coverage was about how woeful the opposition were. They were castigated for being insipid, displaying little enthusiasm. In fairness however, it was noted that one or two of their best players were absent through injury or quarantine after world cup qualifying fixtures in the previous week. When faced with a safeguarding challenge in our churches it’s really important that we are always fully on our game, and that the right people are in place to make robust and proportionate responses. It can’t be the day that we don’t quite turn up or blame a bad day at the office for not getting things done correctly. One football commentator described how one of the home team’s players ‘bullied’ the defender allocated to mark him and got by far the better of him to move quickly on goal. Although in a different context, we need to ensure we are not bullied (or groomed) by someone about whom we may have concern, and in so doing frustrate any unsafe, abusive or risky ambition they may have. This means church leaders working together as an effective team to support each other, not leaving any one person exposed to challenging behaviour. It’s also about spotting any dangers early on and not letting things drift. For many readers, this may sound like a re-statement of a theme that I often return to, but it probably warrants a reminder every now and again. As the season for autumn church councils and circuit meetings draws upon us, maybe it’s the occasion for a more thorough conversation than usual to supply assurance that all is in place, and that we are not just going through the motions when we come to safeguarding as an agenda item. Next Saturday away to Liverpool may be a different proposition. Stay tuned.

I think we must be having something of a late summer blast as I write today with a fan nearby. Three weeks ago I was sweeping rainwater form near our front step. Last week we were in Scotland and did not need to wear an anorak at any point – a first for us on a Scottish holiday. I’m not sure about how the safeguarding and climate change agendas align but maybe a later blog will explore the interface! So in sunny weekend weather I attended a two day online conference on Spiritual Abuse and Coercive Control, which I found in equal parts deeply engrossing and deeply depressing. Engrossing as we heard academic evidence about and personal testimonies from impacted individuals where the faith organisations that they had been born into or chosen to join, seriously harmed them through misuse of clerical and other leaders’ power and narrow interpretation of sacred texts. Depressing because it was a phenomena experienced in several faith communities, not just the Christian Church, and that the options for addressing such abuse can be quite limited. If you choose to leave you can also be deliberately ostracised and this can have a serious effect on personal mental health and wellbeing, as well as being challenging to your faith. Space does not permit a re-telling of the several stories shared, but spiritual abuse is an area of concern that we will need to reflect on more. Which is why our Safeguarding Training Group will be looking at how best to develop a module that helps church leaders first to recognise and then how to tackle it. One or two contributors took issue with the title of spiritual abuse preferring the term pastoral malpractice. They also raised the tricky issue of how the state may become drawn into, appropriately or inappropriately according to your point of view, defining what is spiritually abusive and adjudicating as a consequence. One contributor harked back to the 16th century and for me, this invoked a picture of burning at the stake as, when on holiday, I had read a novel set in the period when there was so much religious strife. This may be a theme to return to at intervals as there was so much to consider and, for me, some eye-opening insights to reflect on. In the meantime, enjoy the good weather whilst it lasts. Autumn will approach far too quickly.

I’ll admit it. Reading this blog may at times seem a bit dispiriting. Quite often there are references to awful things we need to be alert to, along with advice and guidance about how to tackle them. Although I do try to lace these items with a few humorous anecdotes along with some sporting or obscure cultural commentary, I guess there is a sense that the column is constantly reminding readers to be observant – to recognise, respond, record and refer. So for this last blog before the summer break, and with thanks to the title of Ian Dury’s 1979 hit single, here are some reasons to be cheerful: During the last church year, Our safeguarding training has now been made widely available online – easy to access without travel In London District, the safeguarding team has almost doubled its capacity in the last six months Safe recruitment guidance has been re-drafted – shorter and more concise for those of you responsible for recruiting new volunteers or office holders, and now awaiting Methodist Council approval Greater engagement with survivors has been achieved and we’ve published a useful study guide for churches Development of new Domestic Abuse guidelines for the Church after an overwhelming response to a webinar attended by over 500 people. Hosted three anti-bullying webinars A paper on the Theology of Safeguarding was endorsed by Conference There has been more sharing of our safeguarding knowledge and experience with the Church overseas. And in the parallel universe that is London SE25, a new manager, younger players and an ambition to rise above mid-table mediocrity! I won’t mention you know what for fear of jinxing what might be some hopeful statistical data. So the last word this week is down to Ian Dury. His ‘Reasons to be Cheerful’ is a list of things that made him happy, and one short stanza reads: A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it, Your welcome we can spare it And yellow socks Don’t quite get the socks non-sequitur but it may raise a brief smile. Have a good summer. See you in September.

Last week I joined the army of those that have been pinged. Statistically a fair number of readers of this piece will also have joined, rather unwillingly. I have three days to go before I can emerge from self-isolation. I must confess to spending the first day or so after the ping monitoring every nuanced shift in body functioning but thus far all is well. My ‘encounter’, as it is termed, was on a day when the less safe places I visited were an M1 service station and a Toby Carvery, so I also racked my brain to recall a 15 minute close encounter in either of those venues. But I couldn’t quite see one in my mind. Anyway it’s given me the chance to catch up with some home-based tasks that I’d been putting off. Then the heat came which made me disinclined to do much at all! So from now on, until the next lockdown, it’s down to personal responsibility and being cautious. Is there a message in there for how we go about our safeguarding business, and perhaps more importantly, how we behave? We are expected to demonstrate a fair degree of altruism by continuing to wear masks in enclosed spaces and keep our distance to protect others. So how will this play out in our church life? One of the adjustments we have had to make in recent months has been moving away from the physical sharing of the peace, and for some that has been a really helpful development. This is especially the case where unwanted touch has caused earlier distress or discomfort. So how well will we be able to learn lessons from the last 17 months and make a real and sustained change going forward? Enabling people to feel safe as they worship and participate fully in church life is not just about respecting Covid and recognising the damage it can do. It’s also about maintaining a safe emotional space where individuals are respected, free from any anxiety about what might happen, or who might be there. The lockdown experience will probably mean that nothing will ever again be the same as it was in early March 2020. But it has made us think about so many things we used to do and why we did them in a particular way. So although we may be experiencing some uncertainty about what ‘Freedom Day’ really meant, we do have a chance to re-cast some of our traditions. It won’t be so possible to say ‘well, we’ve always done it this way’ as a block to change. Speaking personally, as a card carrying double jabbed person, I can’t wait to get back onto the dancefloor, sampling South London’s nightlife in September.

I listened with seething anger and immeasurable sadness to Lemn Sissay reading Marcus Rashford’s post Euro Final statement on Radio 4 this morning. If you didn’t catch it, try to hear it if you can – it's well worth the hard listen. Marcus’ words and Lemn’s voice and intonation were just so right. It followed a profound ‘Thought for the Day’ from an Anglican ordinand reflecting on what it is to be English, now in the context of her marrying into an Italian family, and what Vera Lynn’s song ‘There’ll always be an England’ really means. There was also a piece about Tyrone Mings, an England defender, calling out the Home Secretary for what he saw as her hypocrisy in not supporting taking the knee, whilst tweeting about the abuse suffered by the penalty takers. So all in all, a very emotional roller-coaster 15 minutes of radio as I drove through Sheffield’s bleak and rainy northern suburbs. The defeat on Sunday night will no doubt pass, but the lingering after-taste will sadly remain a live issue for some time to come. The issues and some of the attitudes involved here run deep in our society, and the Church is not immune. Hence the Conference launch of the Strategy for Justice, Dignity and Solidarity, that we will be learning much more about in the coming months. Given the Safeguarding Team’s key focus on supporting survivors of abuse, we are forging links with the colleagues charged with delivering this strategy as there are obvious synergies. Much safeguarding work is about restoring personal wellbeing and confidence, as well as providing reassurance about our organisational capacity to act robustly in the face of inappropriate behaviour or statements. When asked, survivors often mention seeking justice as one of their prime concerns, and engaging with the study guide ’Reflect and Respond’ is one way in which other church members can show solidarity with them. So, the ambition now is for the England football team to rise above all the current distress and malaise, and focus on the World Cup which is already looming next year. That event in Qatar also comes with issues for reflection, perhaps on another day. In the meantime, those three words – justice, dignity and solidarity – are ones that we can aim to apply as much as, and wherever, we can.

I want to encourage you to take up the offer of safeguarding training when it’s arranged in your circuit. Members of the Learning Network and Connexional Safeguarding Team have worked hard over the last year to bring you on-line versions of our Foundation and Advanced level courses and the comments from those who took part in pilots, show that they have given the thumbs up. There have been a few tweaks as a result of the feedback but all is now in place and you can be raring to go. The offer may be all on line or a blend of face to face and on-line sessions so as we learn about changes to social distancing arrangements this week, your circuits, and the district in the case of the Advanced course, can plan to deliver what suits best. Many of you reading this will be required to update your training due to the roles you have as ministers, local preachers, lay workers, church officers, children’s workers and pastoral visitors, and you’ll find both some familiarity in recaps but also learn new things as well. A skilled and confident workforce, if you will excuse the generic description of anyone who plays a role in your church or holds an office, is the bedrock of our protection strategy. Simply put, recognising a concern and knowing what to do next is key. Without this knowledge things can get missed, not get reported and someone may be harmed. Short and sweet this week, as we start to plan our autumn events. Late July and August can be a quiet time whether we can get away on our dream holiday or not, so if you are a church or circuit safeguarding officer, now is the time to check who needs to be trained, engage your trainers and chaplain and make sure you have accessed the materials. If you are one of those who will be trained, look out for your local publicity and book on the course. And no mention of the football = did you notice?

One of the features of getting to a certain age is that you can easily believe that something happened only yesterday. Furthermore, you can’t always understand nor appreciate that others may not have the same recollection. The fact that most people will not have been born at the critical moment is also lost in the ether of your own memories. I wasn’t going to mention football this week, but as Alan Shearer noted on the Today programme this morning, most of the current England side would not have been born in 1996 when the national side lost on penalties to Germany, an event that seems stuck in our national consciousness. The death of Jim Morrison, singer with the American rock group the Doors, 50 years ago this week, was what prompted this bout of remembrance. Aged 27, he died of heart failure in (conspiracy theory warning - probably) suspicious circumstances in Paris and was buried in Pere Lachaise cemetery a few days later. At the weekend my newspaper ran the rule over the band’s best songs, and declared that ‘Riders on the Storm’a song partly about a serial killer on the loose on a desert highway, was the number one choice. The fact that it was the last song to which Morrison added some fresh vocals in June 1971 just before he died, is one of those chilling coincidences. Although Morrison died when I was 17, I found it difficult to comprehend that it was so long ago. So perhaps over time our sense of time changes. My head tells me it was a long time ago, but my heart says that it can’t be. So how we recall , process and deal with an incident that affected us or someone else a long time ago is really important. Just because it happened so long ago, doesn’t mean that the feelings of hurt or elation, anger or joy are not ever present, especially when an anniversary falls or in this case, a song gets mentioned and played. Jim Morrison has not been the only artist to die, generally suddenly, aged 27. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Brian Jones, guitarist with the Rolling Stones died at the same age between 1969 and 1970. Kurt Cobain from Nirvana in 1994 and Amy Winehouse in 2011. Looking back, the poet Rupert Brooke died in 1915 and the enigmatic blues guitarist Robert Johnson in 1938. Each of their lyrical and musical contributions have gone on to be hugely significant, but this is tinged with the wistfulness of what might have been. Likewise, as we reflect from time to time on those moments that have left an indelible mark on us, it can help if those around us accept that however long ago it was, to some it can seem like only yesterday, or even now.